Maybe it’s just the weakened immune system talking, but I’ve just about had my fill of being 4268 miles away from home. I miss the feeling of autonomy. Driving myself to rotations, driving myself to work, choosing who I want to see on which given day, choosing what we should eat or do, and subsequently doing so. Yet, everything I do here seems to be contingent upon the others around me. I feel restricted in my options for… basically everything. The same food options with the same 34 people, only 6 of which I speak to on a regular basis. Not that I necessarily hate this scenario, but it’s something I can’t escape. At this point, I’ve given up the notion that I should be entertaining those around me on a 24 hour basis. I become exhausted from traveling so often, but I become even more exhausted when I’m not. It’s no wonder I’ve grown so lethargic. (And the cold certainly is not helping anyone.) I find myself feeling sorry for not being able to be at my best for others, and yet, I don’t feel sorry at all. There have been plenty of days in NY in which I wanted to do absolutely nothing with myself. I shouldn’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong by feeling this way in Rome as well. The truth is, I sorely wish I was home, and I don’t feel bad admitting so.